No radio or TV perhaps isn't talking about Michael jackson's death, (June 25) and I too was hooked on every TV show giving tribute to the man who shaped my generation. I was close to tears a few times, sometimes angry, for reasons I don't know. Perhaps, its the end of the era afterall, a major strand of our DNA has been taken away.
My first encounter with him was in my 2nd grade. I grew up with his music, having the chance to represent Miss USA in an annual "United Nations" day in school. I remember I put on my leotards and tights on, donned a sparkling headband like that fashion in "Fame" and dance to MJ's "Beat It", memorizing every single step from the video. The crowd roused clapping, (can you imagine my horror)but that moment Michael Jackson made me forget that I am just like any other kids .
Then I remember my father gifted me with a lifesize poster of Michael Jackson, and from then on he was all over my wall. I had a few collections like that sparkly gloves and military epaulets; (how I wish I had those). Then the mania started in the house, from high school to college I never stopped collecting his albums, videos and magazines. It got so wild and crazy, that when it started to pile up, I got doses of arguments from my mother who thinks it was a waste of money and time.
My affection for the man and his music grew even more, when he came over to stage a concert in the Philippines. The ticket price was too damn high, and I was miles away from the venue that going there was not an option, its like rubbing off the entire monthly food budget had I watched that one night concert. I guess my brother felt my disgust that he asked some friends picture of Michael Jackson during the concert. However, I had the time of my life when my brother handed me a lifesize magazine memorabilia complete with all Michael Jackson photos from the concert. I dont remember the name of his schoolmate who did gave him the memorabilia but I am thankful. I was close to seeing MJ in person .
Every single moment till college Michael Jackson has been a part of my life, I can talk about his life , in details like as if I was a part of his life. I defended him to people and slammed them for false accusations. I thought for a second, I can be his best bet for a spokesperson. I memorized every detail of him without blinking an eye. Some were fascinated how I put up all those stories together and make them believe it was as if a first hand information. My third encounter with MJ, he taught me that I have the gift of gab.
My college classmates handed me a variety of magazine and newspaper cut-outs , even those stenchy newspaper pages wrapped from dried fish. My high school and college classmates will always remember me, because I was a no. 1 Jackson fan. That when the day the news about his death escalates, I was flooded with condolences like as if I was family. Horrifying it may seem, that its been awhile I haven't had a close encounter with the artist I admired so much, I too, did grow up. I stopped collecting magazines, strip off the posters and take less of the time listening to his music at home. But I guess, I haven't really grow tired of the man, because every news about him still interests me. I emulated the moves, I sang his songs I guess that showed how this man made me as a person.
I heard the news of Michael Jackson dying was from my father. I just got up from bed, hair all messed-up when he said " We'll I guess you shouldn't be happy with the news, your idol is dead", then I go "idol who?". He turned the TV on and out flashes news about Michael Jackson's death. I couldn't believe what I was hearing!! I tried to pinch myself and convince this ain't all true. I embrace every single information about his death and try to cry but I couldn't. It was not until that day at work that I understand I was grief stricken, like everyone else. I was numb and speechless the rest of the day. It all still seems so unreal!! Every hour that day, I played every Michael Jackson song I can think of. I thought this chance only comes once in a lifetime, to play the songs I like, too bad it had to be on the day he died.
Michael Jackson's music will always stay and I will always be his no.1 fan. He might not knew me at all and all others who made him an icon but despite such he continues to live in all of us, who love music. My next encounter of Michael Jackson, it was him who drove me to become a DJ. His groove and melodies pointed me to the road of broadcasting. I guess I shouldn't elaborate more on that. C'mon we have our own personal artistic heroes, but mine was MJ, you can debate with me if you like, but you will never win.
I know we all must "meet our maker" some day but it still does not change the fact of how sad the death, of someone loved so dearly, is. I am a grown up lady and have been a fan of Michael since I was 8, I was waiting on another CD by him and now this!! I never paid attention to all of the talk of how weird Michael Jackson was because I knew he was a sweet and caring person in spite of how he looked. Even if MJ turns green I will always respect him for his music. What a loss!! He was a pioneer in video making and could dance the socks off anyone who would try to top him in that arena. I pray that he rest in peace now. Peace! Brother!
There are two sides of being me (I guess everyone does), the angel lurking in the devil smile and the lesser evil, oh no! I mean the one with a (ting!) halo on top of the head. Someone told me I am the kindest person he knows (at the back of my mind I wanted to bat him to death), so I smiled and quipped "Oh! Thank you!" (trying to play humble, oh! why can't I even convince myself) and he insists that I am (criteria please! paper roll), shouldn't I be proud? Arrgh!
Well I waterlogged myself with 4 glasses of water straight, no breathing, I still can't figure out why he said it. There were lot of thoughts running in my mind (what's the catch) about the conversation we just had, and I figure out maybe he just wanted to impress me (sorry but I don't have that in my vocabulary, I am not even impressed of myself either)...hmmmm....what could be! Aha! Maybe he saw my inflatable horns on my head (didn't I tell you about that?) and maybe its part of his reverse psycho tactic.
Oh I get it, maybe he has x-ray powers (you know the one you can use to find out if your boyfriend is wearing a red thong), I was running out of options so I consulted my Mom and she said things that made me thought (just maybe) made this man believe I am an angel (Arrgh! this is pressure). I am not going to enumerate it, you will never have the chance to know what is it. Never! Okey! (why can't I keep my mouth shut!) it has something to do with family (Alright! thats it!, why can't this century tape fit this mouth).
Well maybe I have to say that each of us are really angels at some point (I'm outta here!), even the most bitchest of them all can be swayed a bit sometimes (I know too many). Its just a matter of practice and being comfortable with it. Like class being kind is innate is us, all we need to know is how to let it grow in us (why am I saying this) . You dont have to be Mother Teresa or Oprah Winfrey (what an example....what! I love Miss O, who doesn't?) and do all this charity works to be thought of as a kind person, sometimes I think a smile can do wonders, or I say when you do simple stuff for someone and I mean little things that can goes a long way, being a part of someone else's happiness can transform you to a saint (believe me! you will love to hear the great things they will say behind you back, shooo! go and feed your ego). Honestly, without much effort, doing things for others (rationalize it to being "kind") is fun for some reasons, everytime I do and a simple thank you is rewarded to me I felt my back starting to raise and wings flip then the halo says "TING" and before I knew it, I looked down and I was riding a cloud, I'm in seventh heaven.....I'm an angel...(Ngwak, Ngwak, Ngwak).
They say true friendships isnt being inseparable, its being separated and nothing changes. But what if a friend stabs you in the back, presumes negative things you never will do, gets jealous with your time, probably taken you for granted and most of all lie to you, how would you feel?
I got drowned with several SMS by people who has second thoughts about their current friendship, (which by the way involves me too) like someone came home recently from abroad and never took the time to contact us and worst by chance saw one another at a mall and never bothered to say "Hi", (I know that selective amnesia they say, it happens all the time. I don't know if it has something to do with the "pasalubong" thing or she just dislikes seeing you) or say a bestfriend just got hooked up with a guy (all of your friends knew about it except you, Dah! maybe she thought I'll flirt with the guy, pathetic!) , or got pregnant or getting married in the next few months and you are left hanging on the wall asking, why didn't he or she told me about it? Were we friends? Especially if you found out that others did knew about it and you were the last person to know. Dah! we are BFF ha! (I can only laugh).
When someone asked how I will I react, I shrugged my shoulders and said "just let them be, they don't need us, because if they did, they would". You don't beg for it, it comes because you know you were needed and not because she thinks you don't have time. She texted back with a smiley. By the way, that thought I so got from my male best friend (so I share this award to him ...)
I have few friends , but these are well kept, unless they chose not to. Several of them does. Perhaps, I am starting to lose some, and no one can't blame them, of course we have lives to maneuver, happiness to attain, goals to achieve, married life to work on, kids to raise. But at the end of the day you say to yourself, do I really need friends or have I been a real friend ? Me, without batting an eyelash, I do. Friends cushions the blow of life in me, I share them every bit and piece of everything maybe because I treasure them, trusting them. You will only get to realize that it is only after you are truthful to them that they don't feel the same way. And you have to be on-guard to know that because a true friend is someone who will be there for you, even if you have the last pie on the fridge for dinner.
My friends are part of my life (even if some of them don't think otherwise), the pan out of the cake conversations like talking about crushes (God! at our age!) but it was fun. When there is a need to engage into a mature talk we sometimes found ourselves overwhelmed by our conclusions, realizing that we had somehow grown -up. I bet I did. Recently, I hanged out with my friends I haven't seen for quite sometime, being with them is like being with myself. No lies, no pretensions, no fears , no anything. All of them by the way are now married, except for Chona and Me, but that didnt hinder us from seeing each other over Christmas, it seems like, the old times is back. We even had a post New Year get together and again it was obvious fun. This are the friends that hang on you when times get rough, who never left you out in the corner. How many of them are there at your side right now? How many of them you think you have but you actually don't? Or weren't you the one disconnecting yourself to some friends? Or was it, you are too engrossed with you latest happiness and you forget about them, worse, left them behind.Friends are not there to smother you, to stab you in the back and scratch your happiness, they are there to share your happiness. What else is there to be afraid of? Unless you are guilty of saying things behind your friend's back, worse thinking she might rob your chance to happiness, she might get jealous, that is why you are hiding things from her, thinking it might ruin your chance to that one great chance to be happy. That is foolish, oh too foolish! Or isn't it not you are haunted by your own shadows because what you think of them is something you actually do to them, and you don't have the balls to admit it.
When the text came to me one after the other last night, I can understand why they were so confused. When a friend lies to you--especially a huge lie --it may feel as though you can never trust her again. (Who would).
It's reasonable to want to know why they told such a lie, or why they don't want to tell you at all however, there are some cases in which people lie without a conscious thought to why they're doing so. It could be that your friend wanted attention or felt desperate to win (or keep) the interest of friends. These kinds of extreme attempts to win affection are embarrassing to admit to others, so a person who resorts to these measures is unlikely to open up to others about their motivations.
The bottom line is this: Your friend may tell you why she did it if you keep asking, or she may never give you a straight answer. That means you may have to "resolve" this for yourself.
How do you do that? It might help to ask yourself what's important to you in the situation. It sounds as though the main question is whether you can trust her to be truthful in the future.
On the other hand, if you think your friend was just going through a rough time, then you might want to give her another chance.
It's questionable whether her impulses will become "more self-destructive." Even the smartest and most "together" people have, at one time or another, done something senseless, but as they gain maturity, they find more effective and less alienating ways to deal with their emotions.
Whether she provides an answer or not, it's perfectly reasonable to let your friend know how her lie has affected your relationship. Maybe that would feel enough like a "resolution" to help you move on. I remember this friend who at one point thought she never hurt me, when in fact she did. She made some senseless comments even infront of my date, I thought what was she thinkin? I let it all pass then, I guess I wasn't too brave enough to tell her straight-face about her careless thoughts, but now that I found a new peace in myself, the time away from some people did helped a lot and more time for myself and knowing myself gave me a different maturity and sooner I realize, I am a totally different person now. No one can hate me for my bad choices, no one can criticize me for the way I look, and no one can tell me what to do, I guess the New Year just gave me a new meaning to correct my mistakes and correct the people who thinks badly about me especially if they upset me, after all they will never learn how to treat you right, if you don't start now, even if she is your friend.
Time to stop and smell the bad news, Jennifer Aniston along with Drew BarryMoore and Jennifer Connelly star in the most in-your face movie about the gender bending gaps between men and women and the truth about why men treat you the way they treat you now. This is based from a Greg Behrendt & Liz Tucillo book "He's not Just that into You", this book is a bestseller, it took me 2 months to order it at National Bookstore and getting hold of a copy was probably the most insane day I thought possible. Before bringing the book home, I first took it to National Bookstore's gift station (just in case you wanna know what branch, this gift station is at the entrance (almost) you can pass it by when you enter the shop across the card section, Damn it! do I have to say that, after all there are only two branches, one at SM City and G-Mall).
So the story goes, (by the way this happened months ago) I asked the gift shop lady for suggestions of a cute gift wrap and wrapping design along with a matching giftcard and ribbon. She asked me "Matanda na po ba ang bibigyan niyo ng gift , Maam? " (I could slap her on the face right that instant), with a controlled voice I answered, " Hindi naman dear, sing-edad ko lang". She smiled (I thought what the hell was she smiling about, until she said), Maam' bata pa pala, mga 26?" Suddenly, I heard chirping birds and a flower confetti coming down from the roof Ho! HA! Yipee!! .I could have jump up and down. Everybody says I don't look my age, 26 is not that bad, although a lot says I do look 25 (do I hear some roar!Let's party people! LOL). God I missed him. (Oh! sorry I was thinking of that guy I'm supposed to marry, 8 years ago).
I found myself suddenly becoming nice to her. She suggested that it should be put in a box, wrapped in a two toned combination of colors (if so I wish) with a unique flower paper design instead of an overblown ribbon. She pulled off some strings and a couple of brown paper (my favorite color) and some red stuff which she transformed into a poinsettia flower (she's a talent). While her hands were busy, she asked me more questions about whom I'm going to give the gift and why would I give it to her, and her favorite color and throws in suggestions after another until finally come up with an outrageous piece along with a unique gift card that made me wonder, how did she do that? When done, she pushed the gift to my side and said, "Maam, ito na po, photo finish na (that was a joke I know but I didn't laugh), I bet magustuhan iyan nang pagbibigyan mo.I said to her, "Are you sure"? . She added, "Opo, Maam, pag hindi po balikan niyo po ako". In a wink, I suddenly transformed into a Chucky doll, with a knife on my hand and said, "Talagang babalikan kita", and smiled. But of course, I love it, she's as innocent as everyone else, that I was a pyscho on the loose, no one knew it was a gift to myself. Oprah said, when you want to be happy do things you never thought you can do by yourself . What I did was liberating. I just did one for the books.
I decided this calls for a celebration, (what am I celebrating? Oh! didn't I tell you I just broke off with a loser freak, you bet he should remain at the circus) so I ate a steak for lunch at ______ (I am not going to promote any restaurant here, but this steak house is in Davao, I'm pretty sure about that). Later, check out a a feel-good -movie, it was a good one, almost all the characters died in a flash, there were intestines scatter like crazy and brains whacked and blood all over (Let's drink to that). Feel-good because, the only character left is the cameraman, all of the actors died. Lights off and the shadow of the killer goes off the wilderness leaving a ghost town. Now tell me if that isn't a nice movie. Tell me!
After, I decided to stroll, buy some stuff I could use for my next bloody encounter, I went to the grocery section (of course killers do eat and a lot). OMG! This is getting freaky! Let's cut the crap. On my way home, I ordered a box of pizza, a couple of chips and some soda to go with it. I met with a friend, who returned my Korean movie DVD that she borrowed last year (I could wring her neck) and went off. Oh! she asked me about the gift too, I said it's a gift to myself. She went crazy with that. So what?
So you thought I was in hurry to open the gift? Nah! I let it sit on my bed for a couple of hours, stare on it sometimes and read another book by Rollo May " Man's Search for Himself". I even watched a Korean movie and ate pizza altogether. My parents have grown accustomed to my crazy habits (I'll even ask my brother soon if he noticed something too), and all of these lunatic interludes, so its common they behave like as if I don't exist ( if Papa sees this page, I am going to be in trouble, but since he is a writer too, he will understand I'm sure. Wanna bet? )
I went back to bed around 11pm and still didn't touched the gift. I showered and do my night rituals. I stared on it for the last 30 minutes and sitting on my bed I kissed the wrapping paper goodbye and unwrap the gift. I tore everything to pieces and it was fun and refreshing (of course I was thinking of that guy when I throw and cut every piece of it). I smiled as I unravel the book and said, "this is it". Then starts reading. I didn't slept. I found out the book was outright funny and hideous and it even felt like it was my alter ego talking to me and reminding me how stupid have I become. (Oh, by the way it first got into our consciousness when it was used for Sex and The City series).
The book chapter contains a brief description of the problem with ; two or three advice-column style questions from women, which Greg answers; a poll survey and a "What You Should Have Learned in This Chapter" summary; and a trivial but occasionally giggle-worthy "Workbook" section. If you are happily married or committed and with no inhibitions , dont buy this book, but if your in search for happiness and still on the look out if the guy you are seeing is the one and not the "only one", then buy it. You have a lot of overhauling to do girl. Thank God for this maturity.LOL. I remember my father telling me, in one of the rarest conversations,when I asked him why are some people involved themselves into a relationship and invest on it even though they are not happy and is not proud of it? They kept telling themselves they are happy but actually they aren't. Dahil wala na bang iba? Then he said smiling ah! Anak, these are people, you know when you can't connect with somebody mentally on your first date you know your not supposed to be with this person but you drag it for years and pretend you are in love? They are pathetic. I laughed hard and said, "Tatay nga kita, isa kang alamat".
Lesson: You should be proud of yourself first then your guy, don't go into a "half-bf" syndrome" , one that is not recognized. LOL! I know how it feels believe me. But if you are always in denial and your head is in the sand, that's not useful either because it keeps you holding onto a relationship where there is none," The truth shall set you free.
Throughout the book, there's an undertone of emotional immaturity and consequent insecurity, of assuming that the reader is not only the center of her paramour's universe but the entirety of it, and that nothing less is acceptable. If he has multiple or conflicting responsibilities, dump him; If he's not pressuring you for sex constantly, dump him; If he doesn't have a job and you're footing his bills, dump him. It's a very small step indeed to believe that if he buys you the wrong shoes, or questions the number of pairs of Manolo Blahniks in your closet, you should dump him for those infractions as well. I let you take a peek of what to expect in this book and think.
Harsh words from the best-selling dating book may set single women free....HE IS NOT JUST THAT INTO YOU! According to the author hearing the words 'he's not that into you' are painful because it's like 'what's wrong with me?'" but it's not always that simple. "Sometimes there is something going on that is not about you," "The possibilities are endless and this book is popular because usually we don't like to talk about the possibility that you are not the one."
HE IS NOT JUST THAT INTO YOU .....if he is not asking you out ( because if he likes you, trust me, he will ask you out).
DON'T GET TRICKED INTO ASKING HIM OUT....... if he likes you he will do the asking.
IF YOU CAN FIND HIM, THEN HE CAN FIND YOU....if he wants to find you he will.
MEN DON'T FORGET HOW MUCH THEY LIKE YOU....so put down the phone.
YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.....to be asked out.
HE IS NOT JUST THAT INTO YOU .....if he is not calling you (Men know hot to use the phone)
IF HE IS NOT CALLING YOU.....it's because you are not on his mind
"BUSY" IS ANOTHER WORD FOR ASSHOLE......"asshole" is another word for the guy you are dating
DON'T BE WITH SOMEONE WHO DOESN'T DO...what they say they are going to do
HE IS NOT JUST THAT INTO YOU.....if he is not dating you (Hanging out is not dating)
BETTER THAN NOTHING .....is not good enough for you
IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE THE RELATIONSHIP IS GOING.......it's okay to pull over and ask
THERE'S A GUY OUT THERE WHO WILL WANT TO TELL EVERYONE......that he is your boyfriend. Quit goofing around and go find him.
IF YOU'RE TEMPTED TO SPEND COUNTLESS NIGHTS CUDDLING WITH SOMEONE....buy a puppy
HE IS NOT JUST THAT INTO YOU .....if he is having sex with someone else (there's never going to be a good excuse for cheating)
CHEATING IS CHEATING... it doesn't matter whom it was with or how many times it happened.
A CHEATER ONLY CHEATS HIMSELF....because he doesn't get to be with you.
HE IS NOT JUST THAT INTO YOU ......if he only wants to see you when he is drunk (if he likes you he wants to see you when his judgement isnt impaired)
IF HE ONLY WANTS TO SEE YOU, TALK TO YOU, HAVE SEX WITH YOU..ETC.....when he's inebriated.....it aint' LOVE, its SPORT.
HE IS NOT JUST THAT INTO YOU ......if he doesnt want to marry you (Love cures commitment phobia)
IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE YOUR'E RUSHING......why are you waiting?
THERE IS A GUY OUT THERE WHO WANTS TO.....marry you
"DOESN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED" AND DOESN'T WANT TO GET MARRIED TO ME" ARE VERY DIFFERENT THINGS......Be sure about which category he falls under.
IF YOU HAVE DIFFERENT VIEWS ABOUT MARRIAGE, WHAT ELSE ARE YOU NOT ON THE SAME PAGE ABOUT?.......Time to take inventory
HE IS NOT JUST THAT INTO YOU ......if he is breaking up with you (I don't want to go out with you, means just that)
HE DOESN'T NEED TO BE REMINDED ...that you are great!
YOU CAN'T TALK YOUR WAY OUT OF A BREAK-UP. IT IS NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION....a breakup is a definitive action, not a democratic one.
THERE'S A GUY OUT THERE WHO IS GOING TO BE REALLY HAPPY THAT YOU DIDN'T GET BACK TOGETHER...with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
HE IS NOT JUST THAT INTO YOU , IF HE DISSAPEARED ON YOU (Sometimes you need to get closure all by yourself)
HE MIGHT BE LYING IN THE HOSPITAL BED WITH AMNESIA, but more likely he is not just that into you.
NO ANSWER...is your answer
DON'T GIVE HIM THE CHANCE...to reject you again
THERE'S NO MYSTERY. HE IS GONE AND HE IS NOT ...good enuf for you
HE IS NOT JUST THAT INTO YOU IF HE IS MARRIED AND OTHER INSANE VARIATIONS OF BEING UNAVAILABLE)....if you are not able to love freely it's not really love.
HE IS MARRIED (This made me laugh)
UNLESS HE IS ALL YOURS....he's still hers.
THERE ARE COOL, SINGLE MEN IN THE WORLD....Find one of them to go out with.
IF A GUY IS YELLING ABOUT HIS EX-WIFE OR CRYING OVER HIS LAST GIRLFRIEND...try to fins someone else to take you to the movies.
HE IS NOT JUST THAT INTO YOU IF HE IS A SELFISH JERK, A BULLY OR A REALLY BIG FREAK (If you really love the person you want to do things to make that person happy).
HAVE FAITH...what other choice there is?
MAKE A SPACE IN YOUR LIFE FOR...the glorious things you deserve.
I had the worst day ever my body went into a total shutdown. I suffered a major black out, lunch time today. Taking my first meal for the day at 1:30 pm, I gorge on 2 chicken ribs and a half serving of rice. My friends and I talked about our upcoming Christmas party, we were enjoying the conversation and we laughed with all our silly ideas.
I went to the nearest mall to purchase a sanitary napkin ( yes I am a girl, by the way). I had my pre-menstrual cramps of back pains which I can tolerate, I thought it was the heels, it was the first time I wore it after I shed off the pink bandage, my feet still aches but manageable. I mean I don’t want to see that pink bandage all my life so I have to do away with it.
I waited on the cashier counter long line, waiting painstakingly for my turn. Then suddenly like a lighting bolt just got through me, I felt a cold sweat , then it becomes more and more intense, in short I was sweating profusely. It felt like a sweat out from exercising too much on a gym.I didn't felt anything excepts the cold sweat but I interpreted that mistakenly to an airconditioned mall went wrong. The woman before me noticed I was so pale (think of a black and white picture), she asked me if I was okay and with a smile I shrug my shoulders. I know there was something wrong with me as I stand there, there are still 5 people ahead of me, before I can get that napkin off my bag, I remember what I said in whispers, "Oh please God not now! and I don't even know why I said that.
My friend and I instantly stormed off the mall and she asked me why I was pale (you know what my answer is). I said I'll be fine. When we pass by Mc Donalds my eyes got dimmy, it felt like a flashlight out of battery, it started to blur . I reached for my friend's hand and said I don't feel so good. She brushed her arms on me and nervously quipped "Oh my God! What happened? You're sweating hard and cold!. Then she noticed I was becoming more paler. She asked me if we can find a place to sit for a while but I insisted on going and said I'd rather rest at the office.My pain tolerance is a bit high (I guess), even with glassy look I had walk parked cars gripping on them, I was afraid that I might pass out in the middle of the street. Besides, I don't want to burden my friend, she can't carry me for sure if I'll pass out (my friend is 4'11 and small built, please understand).
For the first time in my life I was counting the blocks I walked in, the buildings I will passed by and too eager to take the steps, as if I was racing to the finish line. Hand in hand my friend and I walked and as I enter the office door, all I remember was I turn to this bulb slowly losing its light. I can feel 4 hands holding me and massaging my hands, the other was tying my long hair, I smelled someone was brushing an eucalyptus liniment on my nose and the other was wiping my cold sweat. Then I passed out.
Apparently, 45 minutes later I awoke from a sound of ringing phone, it was my father, checking . He said they kept on calling but there was no answer. I don't remember texting him but he said I did. (I saluted myself for doing that, I was caught by surprise). I have to hand it to my mom, (she had a stroke remember, but she tops the "pinaka" list of people who care so much for her children. I don't know how she does it, but she did. With phone as her tool, she phoned I guess almost everybody including my ex (LOL) and newly elected U.S. President Barrack Obama,she wished she had their numbers ( I bet if Obama had a hard time giving up his Black Berry, with my Mom calling her every second, he would throw it away). I found out there were several messages in my inbox, and everybody was checking on me, my brother called me on the phone and checked on me too (it was such a good feeling to know they care, my family and friends, that I would never trade for anything).
I was okay but that hour ago was probably the worst ever. Then our licensed nurse a.k.a. DJ came to check on me too and ask a few questions (he was like my doctor for the time being), he asked if I had my breakfast, and I said no, I forgot. I admitted to have taken a medicine for my colds early on and had my first meal at around 1:30 pm. He asked if I had a history of anemia and I said yes (but hey that was too long ago), my blood pressure was way okey, and I am not diabetic so how could that be. He said I was probably suffering from hypoglycemia, low blood sugar and suggested I should eat candy. I laughed (stupid of me) I thought a candy? When he explained that it can be because of my prolonged fasting (which I do most often) I agreed without intervening.
I am a person living in crash diets and yoyo diets . I remember getting a Mc Donald burger and slicing it in portions and made it my meal for the whole day, drink lots of water and I'm done. At times I eat one meal a day and my hands tremble and my stomach growls.. Oprah Winfrey said she only curtail the habit of crash dieting after her psychological and psychiatric sessions and admitting her fears and facing her deepest problems (I looked at myself and smiled at the mirror, I know right then, I needed a vacation at the psychiatric ward).
I said to myself I'll never do it again, hoping that I'll be able to remember it the next day.But for now, I need some rest.
One of the things I like most about having a day off in the middle of the week, is the fact that I can do certain things that the rest of the Monday through Friday work-people can’t.
Things like going to the bank and grocery shopping are pleasurable, because of not having to stand in line with 450,000 other people, who are busy filling in their deposit slips and trying to find their credit cards; which they SHOULD have done BEFORE they got in the friggin' line, instead of inconveniently holding up the rest of us!!#!*Another thing that’s nice, is going to a uncrowded movie theater.
I have no problem with going to the movies alone. In fact, I love it. To not have to listen to anyone tell me every 5 minutes, how they feel about the characters on the screen, is TRULY a blessing.
On this one particular afternoon, after paying for my ticket, I walked into the theater, finding it totally empty. I selected a seat about midway, right next to the wall (nice and cozy). I proceeded to take out my bag of popcorn and soda.
Staring at the blank screen and munching on my goodies, I thought, “How wonderful, a day of peace and quite in solitary confinement .
No sooner had I thought that, did I hear someone else entering the theater.
I watched as they walked up and down the isle trying to find the perfect seat, while carrying an extra-large bucket of popcorn and a super-size soft drink. Finally, they spotted me. They must of thought, “Oh look, how sad…a lonely person. Let me go over and invade their space.”
Not only did this "freakazoid" sit in the same isle, but they sat in the seat directly next to mine. I tried not to make eye contact, in fear that I would dramatically do something to them with a Twizzler.
I’m thinking, “You know, there are 149 empty seats in this DAMN movie theater. So WHY? WHY? Did you have to pick the one seat next to mine to park your stupid carc-ASS???”
Just then, the movie started. Or should I say…the 30 annoying minutes of previews.
I took a deep breath, and prayed for peace.
Apparently, this "beast-creature" that was sitting next to me hadn't eaten in about 2 months, because the sounds that came out of their mouth, were something you would most likely hear at a pig trough.
As they snorted and shoveled in double fist-full’s of popcorn, it sounded like wads of Styrofoam being scrapped together. In between shovels, they would suck and slurp on the soft drink, while moving the straw up and down between the lid, which sounded like two people SCREWING on a squeaky bed.
I felt like I was in a mental institution, going insane.I was so aggravated, that I started eating mine faster and faster.
Finally…the actual movie started.
By this time I was so overwrought with tension, I thought to myself, “Why the hell didn't I just wait for the friggin' DVD to come out, so I could sit in the privacy and peace of my own home????”
Just then, my “movie-mate” let out a beautiful and hedonistic BELCH.
When I was a kid, I wanted nothing else in the world except to possess supernatural powers like Samantha Stevens on the TV show Bewitched. For those of you who may not be familiar with this show, Bewitched is a TV classic way back in 1964 to 1972 (I wasn't even born yet). To make things easier , its like our very own "Ok! Ka Fairy ko! ( I still can recall the characters by the way..let me see: Hmmm... Pipoy, Bali, Amy, Aiza, Taga-Lupa (Enteng Kabisote), Prinsipe ng Kahilingan, Ina Magenta at Fey. The TV show was a phenomenal Filipino favorite, it hits right through us, since superstition is always part of our culture. We look at the art of witch craft as a tool for revenge, even if we hardly knew what it meant in the first place, saying , "Ipabarang ta ka ron". Easy, isnt it? In your mind you wish her dead. (Bad!)
But how many of us, have personal desire of knowing magic? I am. When I hated someone my playful mind starts working and having these thoughts of being a witch, (which by the way, not to far in similarities)
and wave my wand (wand ba o silhig?) to that person and would have made that person VANISH in a FLASH! or make him a cricket (ayaw na frog kay common na) . Aren't I wicked? Can you imagine how we could just make everyone we didn't like, just disappear? Or assume a transfiguration power (that would be a thumbs-up).
And speaking of super powers--- Do you remember the cartoon- the Super Friends (I think it was called that)-- with Aquaman, The Wonder Twins, Wonder woman, Superman, Batman and Robin. I wanted Aquaman's powers.. Plus, I wanted to be able to turn invisible... I wanted super powers, too!!! Harry Potter is this generations wizard fascination aside from a cute actor , we just love J.K. Rowling because she cultivates that inner child in us, the flying car, the giants, vanishing cabinets, talking painting and a rotating stairs and etc.
Part of what is so intriguing about super powers has to do with the consequences of suddenly coming to possess them. Whatever the power might be, it most definitely has the potential to unleash a whirlwind of change that could completely alter your life, and perhaps the world as well. Just imagine if you awoke one morning to find that you suddenly could do something you could never do before -- something you never even dreamed of being able to do -- something no one else on earth can do.
Let's say, for example, that you just somehow attained super speed. That's like winning the lottery. You could do anything! If you had some responsibility that you weren't really looking forward to, you could accomplish it in the blink of an eye. Bam! Done. You'd have so much more free time! Not only that, but wouldn't you feel safer knowing that if you had to, you could just zip right out of a bad scene? No one could touch you. And along with super speed comes -- a super metabolism! No calorie counting -- ever. No trouble losing weight. It would be keeping it on that would be difficult. But enough of this pleasant dream. Many of us have thought about it. It's also true we didn't touch upon the potential downsides. But how realistic is this scenario, really?
Given our current knowledge, the answer is, "Not very." However, there are other super abilities that are not so difficult to imagine being real. Telekinesis, telepathy, rapid learning. These are only a few of the many advanced human capabilities that have yet to achieve standardized use. But just because something doesn't come standard, doesn't mean it isn't available...
As we wait for the day when the super power schools all over the world finally open their doors to us regular folk, we can at least share and discuss what we've learned on our own. Before you try to manifest fire in the palm of your hand, why not take a look around? You never know what you might find... What superpowers you wish to have? Okay, I'm going to go and practice my powers now. Wingardium Laviosa! I'm Out! Ting!
I got a guest comment from this website that describes me as heartless individual (don't take it seriously, he means it hehehe). This person is someone I knew just a couple of days ago and even though he (still figuring out if he is a "she") don't know anything about me (at least with what I told him during our senseless conversation) he still managed to hit the jackpot and assess who I am. Oh! really! (Gulp!)
Heartless in the dictionary means "devoid of compassion; pitiless (what the heck is this dictionary, I thought it meant someone without a beating heart, someone with no pulse) . Okey, so where was I ? Oh! heartless, that's me. You see, being heartless has its perks. It's like class, its an attitude, it's inborn and innate. To be heartless is actually good sometimes, or I should say you just have to be.
That guy who posted the message, is Andrew (name taken from Prince Charles younger brother, who I think is gay..oopps!) and he is heartless jerk too. I didn't said that, he did. (Hi Andrew! You sure love this because you are now enjoying a minute of fame). We had some good exchange of good topic, we call it a day around 2am. He (or a she?) said he agrees to the idea that you have to be "heartless" sometimes to get what you want and to know your worth (He is trying so hard to be smart and to come out profound with his thoughts, who is she "este" he flaunts it to?)
Take for example a wife beaten long enough, emotionally battered, and having to endure the pain of seeing his philandering husband dating other women, worse having children with another woman (just reminds me of that Korean Drama, "My Husband's Woman", I hate that tv drama, I find the wife too stupid to stick her ass to a good for nothing guy who doesn't have a strong backbone raw to even know what he wants! Psycho! Hand me the anti-depressants please! hehehehe). Years later, the husband realizes he loves his wife more ( oh! really, maybe he found out the other woman's agenda was just to milk him cash) down on his knees ask for a second chance or a third chance and sobbing endlessly (this is good...I won't be having problems with my water bill) and you are there, frozen with the thought that after countless prayers, sleepless nights and wishful thinking love will lead him back to you. Then, he comes back when you least expected. Then it hit you! You shove him away, and say "Enough! You can't even pass a barangay audition , Ngek! or say this to him or her (what if you're a guy reading this) I've already survived you. You scum, son of the bitch! The question is, will you survive me. (A good dose of kryptonite and it's done).
To stand for what you want is equivalent to know what your worth. If you want to be hurt long enough or chose to be happy , its because you chose to be and not because you don't have a choice ,freewill, is God's greatest gift, ( in case you don't know you are entitled to that). I am not saying I am right, but I am saying you can do something about it.
You are a rebellious teenager growing up, you blame your parents for a dysfunctional family and the divorce. You blame your financial status, you blame God without you know it, you made bad decisions along the way, and started hurting others as well. Your always in trouble and then you have everyone to blame except yourself (sloppy ). You are heartless, because you are lying even to yourself. I have encountered testimonies of people who lived a rotten life, but when I look at them I never would have thought they were disgruntled by anything. I guess choosing to be "heartless" , to succumb yourself to the idea that you came from a life you don't choose it to be , is as good as saying you are a dumb-ass.
You stick it out with a loser boyfriend because she thinks he loves him. He's crucifying you, playing games behind your back. You want to know the truth but he keeps denying. You want to squash him with a hammer on the head but you love him and you can't do that to someone you love (can I volunteer and turn him into a spicy steak). He continuos to hurt you and all you do is cry and wait. He is heartless, but you can be too. Picking up your low morals for a relationship and a guy who is not worth it, is a start. In fact, how many of us encountered situations wherein we bump into an ex then suddenly a jolt come right through you and when you look at that person again, you scratched your head and smiled sheepishly going "OMG! why did I fall for him in the 1st place?" . You look at that person again and say that wasn't me, probably I wasn't myself when I fall for him then. (Or you can hit your head on the brick wall, its fun actually).
When you come up to your senses and you learn to say no and stand for what you believe in, people will start label you as "heartless" . They make up all these generic applications on your person and people around starts believing it.
You were bullied and bickered as a child, you blame your peers and the society for the harsh remarks, but again, its a choice. You can't be who they want you to be if you don't allow them. You can be heartless and show no mercy for those who look down at you. Keep the faith. Main ingredients include, a handful of prayer, a cup of faith, unconditional love , endless support , a big heart for loving yourself more, add some spoon of knowing who you are, what you want, then the dish is superb. That is who you are . Not half-bake or over-cooked. Just right for the time.
Don't be duped into believing what others think about you. Think not of what others has to say but what you say to yourself. They can make their own conclusions, target your person, make you cry but they can never break your spirit. I am what I am, because of my choices. My friends think they know me too much, or some people for that matter, they equate some years of friendship into a life long understanding that they know you inside and out. But the truth is they don't even know a single thing. I am glad, I am heartless, I have to be. It's my only tool to go on. I may have been hurt long enough (and that is the thing they don't know) , but I am learning every single minute that my life is my life and in four words I say to myself "It can be done".
P.S. Thanks dear Andrew (when I say your name it reminds me of Raggedy Ann's "Andy", you look just like him! Bring it on partner!) hehehe..
Average girl,not ur belle-of the ball.Doesn't have a whistle bait figure(talking about excess baggage )but can pass.Seemingly indifferent,borderline cruel (sounds needlessly vicious)but d catch?
A desirable woman,daughter & friend(HMMM.I can't say I'm"MABAIT" but the good news is I can manage not to dissolve when sprinkled w/holy water nor my flesh melt when I enter church or have this weird craving for fresh human blood.(that's a good sign di ba?)
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